My white count is up, so hopefully that means I won't easily get another infection like the last two times I tried to come home.
Emotionally I'm pretty afraid of infection. I've had 3 in the last 3 weeks. Next Tuesday I have another bone marrow biopsy... which means there is more chemo around the corner. I was hoping to hit the pause button for a little while, but I guess I can't do that. I see why they call this a fight... Because I just want to retreat right now... But I have to keep going... And remember this will all be over... And Nate, little N and I will be riding our bikes and eating ice cream next summer, like this never happened...
Friends, I need some help with courage and endurance. I love you all. Thank you for your prayers.
Tanya, you are in our Prayers and I think of you so often. wish the process would go faster for you, stay strong and know how much you mean to people. love lisa haansen
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are home enjoy the minute look forward to the hours and hope for days. This is all any of us can do as travel the path given us. I am now free and we will be there soon to be what ever you want us to be. Maybe not professionals but all we will do is out of love for our dear sweet daughter. A week and half of preparing and we are on or way.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are home again. Stay well! I have been praying hard for you.
ReplyDeleteLast night at a get-together of my business networking group I spoke with the wife of the chiropractor in our group. She knows you and even donated some of her breast milk to Nathan. She's a PA in your oncology unit, and her last name is Schmitt (I forgot her first name). Her baby's name is Cole and I got to hold him for awhile. She couldn't say anything about you other than she knows who you are, and that she had donated breast milk. I like her and I'm glad she's part of your team.
I read this and thought of you: "Those with true hope often see their personal circumstances shaken, like kaleidoscopes, again and again. Yet with the “eye of faith,” they still see divine pattern and purpose (Alma 5:15). By pressing forward, we can stand on what was yesterday’s horizon, thereby drawing hope from our own experiences. Hence Paul described how “tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope” (Rom. 5:3–4). Therefore we sing, “We’ve proved him in days that are past” (Hymns, 1985, no. 19)."
ReplyDelete- Elder Neal A. Maxwell, 'Brightness of Hope,' Oct. 1994
Oh, and this touched me from Saturday's General Relief Society Meeting, from President Monson: "As we seek our Heavenly Father through fervent, sincere prayer, and earnest, dedicated scripture study, our testimonies will become strong, and deeply rooted. We will know of God's love for us, we will understand that we do not ever walk alone. I promise you, that you will one day stand aside and look at your difficult times and realize that He was always there, beside you." It was tender and sweet.
ReplyDeleteDear friend,
ReplyDeleteGood to hear you have some time at home. Each day as I run our four large dogs, I think of you. I pray for you and your little family. Now I know to pray for ice cream and summer walks. Big embracing HUGS! Kerri
I hope that this quietness means that things are going good! That you are home enjoying your little Nate (and big Nate) and that you are feeling good and enjoying this time. I've been watching FB and here for any news..............so I'm hoping no news is good news. We are still praying daily for your success in your journey! Love you lots!
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