So far I still have my hair...

But that won't last. Everyone keeps warning me, but I don't think it will be that big of a deal. But maybe the first time it comes out in a clump it will freak me out. Ya. I'm sure it will. 

So some boring details... i have been diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML). i started induction chemotherapy thursday night. Today is day 3 of chemotherapy. Nothing to report there. Except i can tell the chemo is messing with my brain. its really hard for me to think logistically or to make decisions, or remember what i decided 30 seconds ago. it could be stress, but i blame the drugs. Thursday they gave me platelets and today i had my first blood transfusion. so weird and gross. We will find out Monday or Tuesday if I need a bone marrow transplant. I was told that roughly 65% of AML patients need bone marrow transplants. Siblings are the most likely matches. Since I have 5, there is a good chance I will find a match if I need to. If I don't need a transplant they will just continue with chemo until the leukemic blasts are wiped out. 

My doctor has told me more than once that because I am young and healthy he thinks the chemo course will run smoothly. It is after chemotherapy that it can be a little dangerous, because the body is defenseless. At the very minimum I can expect this initial hospital stay to last 3 weeks. Then I would go home for a week , return to hospital for another 5 days of chemotherapy. Its hard to say what will happen after that. If I do need a transplant, and we find a match right away it could be about a 6 month process, hopefully. For now, I know what I will be doing for the next 2 weeks. The rest I don't know.

Most of the time I just roll with it. I am a strong person, but also mostly naive. I can't see the future, so I don't know what to expect. My poor Nate is really sad... And I get sad too sometimes... And mostly I'm sad that I can't take care of both of my Nathans. It's hard to even hold little nathan because he wants to nurse so bad. Little N isn't that cuddly unless he's nursing... And because h i cant let him nurse my chemo milk, he ends up kicking my Iv. He misses me and I miss him. 

I'm so glad that he loves his daddy so much and that my parents are here to help.