A very good day indeed

Today was a very good day. I was unhooked from my IV just after lunch time. I just finished round  2 of chemo... and I feel pretty ok. Sometimes a little sick to my stomach, and smells overwhelm me, but better than bad.

I finished reading an article that Amanda sent me published in 2007 by Phillip G. McLeMore called, "The Yoga of Christ".  I came across this article when I was writing my undergraduate thesis in Sociology in 2008. I skimmed through the article at that time, but didn't give it my full attention. I was cramming everything I could into my brain that had anything to do with Eastern style spirituality and LDS religiosity. I had procrastinated writing the paper, and would not have graduated if I didn't finish it.  It was a wonderful and stressful time. I learned a lot about religion and spirituality by making a study of the subject and through interviews I conducted with people that were both LDS and "spiritual" in an Eastern sense. My conclusion was that being LDS is not limiting... that it is expansive... and that the Eastern way of approaching spirituality does not contradict LDS living. Im sure lots of people may disagree with me... but, whatever. I finished the paper and have a degree.

Since I got married that is one side of my life that I have neglected. When I was single I needed to feel Gods love... because without it, I felt really alone. I don't work as hard for that connection now. I don't do yoga, I don't take hikes by myself... I don't go to the temple by myself... I don't meditate. Mostly, because I don't have to... and I love hanging out with my little family, they are so much fun. .. and I never feel like I have enough time with them. When I was single I went to the temple every-week, by myself... I did lots of little wonderful things, by myself...  I was never alone, because in the loneliness I connected with God... again... it was out of a need... and I've neglected that because I have so much love in my life now. However, anyone who loves God knows that that need for divine connection cannot be replaced by any person.

So my thoughts now... I again find myself with lots of time... Im here in this hospital room with lots of alone time. It can be lonely... but finally, unfortunately, I have the time and the need again

So, I don't know if it was just the article that lifted me... or finishing chemo for now... or doing yoga this afternoon... but I feel really good. When Nate, Little N and Saundra were here this afternoon we left the floor and visited the "In Memory of Susan Buffet" garden again. It smelled gross, like beef outside, but it was nice to feel the warm outside air.

P.S. Im really starting to look bald now... like Gollum. Nate says I still look cute. I tell him he's blinded by love.

not fishing for compliments... but crazy, huh? going, going, almost gone.